Sunday, July 22, 2012

Some observations on "The Dark Knight Rises" (Spoilers!)

The end of a saga
I just watched The Dark Knight Rises with my friends. I liked the movie, though I'm not one of those diehard fans of Nolan's Batman trilogy. I still hold Batman Begins in the highest regard, as I thought The Dark Knight was too ham-fisted and bombastic. I'm still not sure where I'd rank The Dark Knight Rises in the trilogy, but here are just some thoughts that came to me as I watched the movie.

1) Christopher Nolan has a reputation for "fridging" his female characters, aka killing women off to motivate the men. Some accuse him of thinly-veiled misogyny, but after seeing The Dark Knight Rises, I think there's a less sinister answer: the guy just can't write female characters.

Every line that Selena Kyle had was of the flirty, pseudo-double-entendre type, even when Bane's thugs were about to assault her and Batman, or when the nuke was about to go off. It's as if Nolan and Co. don't realize that even a pretty lady like Selena Kyle would just speak normal English, as opposed to some mystically tantalizing Womanese.

2) Wasn't that one of the most awkwardly cut sex scenes we've seen in a long time? Bruce Wayne and Miranda Tate go from lightly kissing in the dark and joking about the power outage, to suddenly lying naked on the floor underneath a rug. It took me a few seconds to register that they had slept together at all. And just when I realized that, Bruce abruptly left her to go stand on top of the Empire State Building (?) in his Batman costume.

Did he ask her to leave Wayne Manor first, or...?

3) After escaping from the Black Hole of Calcutta or whatever that subterranean prison was, Bruce Wayne easily makes his way back to Gotham City. Did he have his credit card with him while in prison? Was there even an international airport in that mysterious and exotic country that he was in? Did he cross the one intact bridge to get into Gotham, and if so, how come nobody noticed or stopped him?

4) I'm fairly certain that you can't fix a herniated disk by punching someone in the spine and hanging them up for a night.

5) Is Bane a pedophile? Did he first fall in love with the little girl version of Miranda Tate?

6) How did Selena Kyle know how to drive the Batpod so well? And where did she get her high-tech gadgets? And where did she learn to fight almost as well as Batman? Was she in the League of Shadows too? Man, that place seems to be about as exclusive as Costco.

7) On the topic of Selena Kyle and superheroines in general, enough with the high heels. Fantasize in your own private, "tastefully sensual" sketches or something.

8) Does anyone seriously believe that Tom from 500 Days of Summer can deal out the daily brutal beatings required of a Batman?

9) Wouldn't the American, and probably the world, economy have been shattered by the absolute takeover of Gotham City (aka New York City) by a bunch of anarchist terrorists? Did life go on as normal in the United States while its most important and iconic city was completely taken over by a foreign entity?

10) All those football players died on the field. Well, except for the kickoff return guy. That was sad.

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